H: Did you know that 150% of home invasions are in a home?
M: … … Yeah, that checks out.
H: Oh, hey.
H: What time is it?
H: ‘kay, I’m going to finish this suplex then.
H: Make me a batch of gravy?
M: What are you going to put it on?
M: Like, the country of Nepal?
M: You want to put gravy on the entire country of Nepal… and then eat it?
M: Huh. I didn’t know you were a cannibal.
H: Where did you go? You disappeared from sensors!
M: I went to the bathroom.
H: Communication was down, I couldn’t reach you!
M: Can’t I have some privacy while I pee…?
(He’s sitting up in bed while asleep.)
M: Lay down babe.
H: Fuck you, Indiana Jones!
M: I’m sure he feels the same way about you.
H: Eject the proletariat.
H: Get in the rowboat… or I’ll kill you with a fridge.
H: Don’t be racist.
H: Hm. Okay.
H: (whimpers and thrashes around)
M: (holds his hand) Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.
H: (in a whiny voice) Math is hard!