Indiana Jones and the Temple of Fuck You

(He’s sitting up in bed while asleep.)
M: Lay down babe.
H: Fuck you, Indiana Jones!
M: I’m sure he feels the same way about you.
H: Eject the proletariat.
M: ‘kay…


everybody’s a critic

H: A parsec is not a unit of speed.
M: You’re right, it isn’t.
H: Han Solo is an idiot.

betty white and the rainbow bridge

M: (digging quietly through my sock drawer)
H: What are you still doing here?
M: I’ve got no socks on. I can’t leave without socks.
H: Stupid goblins…
M: Why are you all scrunched up on the edge of the bed like that?
H: I’m Betty White’s bitch.
M: Right… Okay, I’m off. Sleep well.
H: I’ma go guard the Rainbow Bridge.
M: Alright babe, have fun. Don’t fall off!

billy crystal

M: Whatcha doing?
H: Fighting Billy Crystal.
M: Well, can’t you do that on your back?
H: No, I fight drugs for the community.