go around

H: We’re never going to make it on time. You’ll have to go around.
H: No, I’m going THROUGH.
H: Well that’s dumb.
H: Maybe…

(Then he got up and left the room. I found him sleeping on the couch.)

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Yes bro, I’m Batman

H: I’m Batman.
H: No, I’m Batman.
H: You’re Batman? (awed-sounding voice) You really are Batman!
M: (trying hard not to laugh)
H: Nefertiti, you really are queen of the Nile.


jesus

H: Oh Jesus! It’s a swamp ghost! Oh, it’s just Jesus. (amused tone of voice) Oh Jesus, you’re so weird. Jesus, you my dawg.


wait, what?

H: Time to return it.
H: Time to take it back.
H: She doesn’t need a head anyway.
H: (quiet muttering)
H: You’re fucked-up!
H: (chuckling) Thank you!


grandpa

H: (creepy whispering) Albondigas…
H: Get off my dune buggy, you damn kids!


pushing buttons

(He was having a conversation with himself in this one…)

H: Push the button.
H: No, you push the button.
H: No, you push the button!
H: I can’t! It’ll hurt us! It’s an American button!
H: Oh, we’re all gonna die.