what the what?

H: (said right in my ear…) YES, WHAT IS THE ASSISTIVE TECH TOTAL OF THIS HOME?

Advertisements

murder is cheap

H: No, it’s too loud.
M: What is?
H: Murder.
M: I’m murdering?
H: Yeah.
M: Why would I do that?
H: Because you’re cheap.
M: Okkkkay…
H: I love you.
M: I love you too, I think…


starship shutyourmouth

H: These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise…
M: (waiting) … … It’s continuing mission…?
H: Hush.


shooter

H: (while patting my face) Shh, shh…
M: What?
H: Don’t wake Beth up.
M: Why not?
H: She’ll get angry and shoot you.
M: Why?
H: Craaaazy…
M: (eyeroll)


sleep show

H: Shh, shh. Sleeping.
M: How do you know?
H: The sign on the wall.
M: What’s it say?
H: “Sleeping.” … Also says to clap for the guest speaker… And something for commercials.


peanut butter cups

H: Shh! Shh! Did you hear that?
M: No?
H: It’s the peanut butter cups!
M: Those don’t make any sound.
H: They do!


bus drivers

H: Shh, shh… Can you hear that? Someone’s in the house.
M: No one is in the house but us, babe.
H: They’ve come to kill us. No wait… just you. They’re bus drivers.
M: Why would bus drivers–
H: Shh, shh… It’s gonna be okay.