critic

H: (moans, sounding pained) Nooo! No! No!
M: What’s the matter? Are you in pain?
H: No, this movie’s terrible.
M: …
H: Mm, that’s better.

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peanut butter cups

H: Shh! Shh! Did you hear that?
M: No?
H: It’s the peanut butter cups!
M: Those don’t make any sound.
H: They do!